My New Humidifier

I got stupid sick this week.  Again.  New school = New kids = New viruses.  On Tuesday I actually had to call in to work.  After walking down my street and going to the doctor for  $3, and filling my prescription for $5, I bought a humidifier for my insanely sore throat.

If you live in Korea and have ever bought an electronic device, you know (if you took a look) that the instructions are pretty hilarious.  I remember the ones for my rice cooker were really funny too.  They actually looked a lot like these.

I got such a kick out of these humidifier instructions, I thought I'd share them with you.  However, even though I can now read Korean, that doesn't mean I know what it is I'm reading.  So, I did what we teachers call "picture-reading."  These are the pictures from the instructions, in the order in which I looked at them, along with my own interpretations of what they mean.  Welcome to my brain.

"If you keep the plug really shiny and sparkly you'll be super psyched, but, that's not allowed."

"Don't fill your humidifier up with a fire hose."

"Don't tinker in there with your tools, Dad.  Call a professional."

If you let the humidifier use the phone when the plug is wet, it will get shocked and be super bummed."

"DEFINITELY don't let some bratty kid from the 1950's in suspenders and a backwards cap touch the humidifier."

"Don't come fresh out of the shower, soaking wet, and suddenly decide to unplug your humidifier."

"The humidifier gets super bummed out during a thunderstorm, so you'd better unplug it."

"Sometimes, when you unplug the humidifier, it randomly throws a temper tantrum for no apparent reason."

"OUCHY!  Why are you smooshing my cord in the window??? ZZT ZZT! (Shocking noises)"

"Mr. Humidifier gets really sad on swivel tables and lazy susans."

"Don't break it.  It's bad.  Plus, it won't be human anymore!"

"Don't fill the humidifier with juice from a condom.  Or if that offends you, don't cut open a pickle and squeeze the juice into the humidifier." (I mean, what IS that thing?)

"The sun HATES the humidifier and gets REAL angry when it sees it and heats up EXTRA strong JUST to make it dizzy and sad...and then it will be reduced to smoking from its little bong (not included)."

"Sometimes Mr. Humidifier has an accident, and gets sad."

"But, that doesn't mean you should put the humidifier on a puppy pee pad, even if it seems like a good idea at the time."

"If you try and wipe the humidifier's hole at the top, it WILL cry a tear."

"The ONLY time the humidifier is happy is when it's on solid ground and 10 cm away from everything with a nice breeze coming through the window.  Oh, but the breeze is NOT allowed."

"The humidifier hates snowmen, and snowmen hate the humidifier."

"The humidifier will cry like a baby if you attempt to bathe it."

"If you, for whatever reason, get angry at your humidifier for doing what it is supposed to do, it will get really sad and cry a tear."

"Under no circumstances should you attempt to medicate your humidifier (or give it toothpaste)."

"Even though you want your new appliance to make friends with your wardrobe and other appliances, it won't because it blows steam and makes your other household items super bored."