Rainbow Marker Emergency

I wanted to go to Alpha yesterday.  Alpha is a popular school supply store in Seoul.  There's one over by my first school, and one up in Nowon, too.  But now I'm in a totally different part of town, and I hadn't seen one in a while.

Basically, I needed a set of rainbow board markers, and a set of rainbow name pens.  I also needed to walk up and down every single aisle and see what else I suddenly needed that I didn't know about to begin with.

It was absolutely vital that I obtained these items before bedtime.  I was on a mission from the teaching gods.  Or something.  I certainly couldn't color one single more morning message board for my adorable little munchkins with nothing but a black, red, green, and blue marker.  Sunshines don't look as good in green.  Nor do happy faces.  How can I properly illustrate smiley and frowny face emotions for my 6 year old first-year English learners on a white board without the proper colors?

"Go to the Express Bus Terminal," said Amy.  "Mrs. Jenny told me that there is a stairwell under that nightclub called "Shampoo," and if you go down it, there is an Alpha."

After school, I took the bus to the terminal, and walked towards Shampoo, the nightclub.  Sure enough, there was a stairwell there.  There weren't any sort of signs, and it looked a bit desolate, but I was determined to get those rainbow markers.  It was an emergency.


I opened the glass doors and began my descent.  After one flight, I reached a giant, dirty, ugly white fire door, which was closed.  It was pretty obvious I wasn't supposed to be there.

Rainbow markers.  I opened the door.

Suddenly, I found myself inside a small shopping center with random vendors selling clothing.  Shopping!  Things were looking up!  I walked around.  Who could even find this place?  Obviously I had come in through some obscure entrance.  Wherever the real one was...I'll never know.  Anyways, no one seemed to care that some random white chick was entering through the emergency exit, which was just how I wanted it.

I walked through the weird basement with laser computer eyes darting from one direction to another, scanning the place for that familiar yellow and blue "Alpha" sign.  I found it in about 10 seconds flat.

It was permanently shut down.  Closed forever.  The inside was black.  Chopped two-by-fours were on the floor.  The ghosts of colorful pencil cases were swirling about inside, crying out, "YOU WASTED YOUR TIME COMING HERE!  YOUR QUEST CANNOT BE COMPLETED, NOW SAVE YOURSELF FROM THIS WRETCHED BASEMENT, YOU FOOL!!!"

After that, my feet quickly took me directly back outside into the light of day.  I walked back towards the huge department store Shinsegae, crossed the street two times, and hopped on the 143 bus in the direction facing the Banpo Bridge.  I live on the other side of it.

On the bus, I quickly found a seat up front and watched the scenery scroll past...buildings, buildings...more buildings....wait, shouldn't we be at the bridge by now?  Oh crap, did I get on this bus going in the wrong direction?  This isn't my usual bus.  I thought I did it right!

I'd like to say that at this point, my internal compass went awry, but I don't actually own one of those.  Mine got left out when I was being built.  I actually had no idea where I was...other than in Seoul, on the wrong side of the river.  I started looking at overhead green street signs and comparing it to the subway map on my iPod.  Seocho?  That's back by work.  Bangbae?  Ok, that's next to Seocho...

Dongjak?  OK...now we're headed in the right direction....oh no wait, the bus is taking a sharp right.  Wait won't that just take us back to the Express Bus Terminal?  What's the point of that?  Damnit, why did I mess this up?  I just want to go home!

Then I realized something while riding through these unfamiliar-looking city neighborhoods.  Something very important.  I MIGHT PASS AN ALPHA.

Actually, it was something I had known all along, just subconsciously.  My laser computer eyes had already been hard at work, scanning every business, every shop.  I just knew this had happened for a reason.  I was meant to get those markers.


That bus meandered through street after street.  Bebimbop and pizza places...plant shops...clothing shops...little grocery stores...bricks, bricks, bricks, offices...bus stop, people getting on and off, more bus stops, and then, in between stops, we came to a halt at a traffic light at a major intersection, just at the top of a hill.  I had already scanned both sides, and decided to look ahead.

It was right in front of me, on the other side of the street.  Its sign shone a gleaming golden light like the gates of heaven and made that angel "AAAAAAAAAH!" sound you hear when something wonderful appears before you.  Alpha.  I stood up from behind the driver and demanded to be let off the bus, in full-blown English.

"Let me out!  Let me out!" I exclaimed.  I scanned my T-Money card to show him I was serious.  We weren't even at a bus stop.  He questioned me, but decided it best to just open the door.  I got out, crossed the road, and...

GOT MY RAINBOW BOARD MARKERS!!!

Plus a bunch of other awesome stuff.

When I finally left the store, it was totally dark outside, cold, and I had no idea where I was.  So, I just hailed a cab.  "Itaewon yok!"  I said, jumping in the back after my shopping bag.

Not all who wander are lost.