But, I Don't Get Homesick!

From a little Korean notebook

Kim and I went to see a movie on Saturday and got our butts vibrated.  We went to Hyehwa, a cute little shopping area where you can go to a Hello Kitty Cafe or get amazing, mouth-watering Indian food.  The movie we chose was the new X-Men.  I had seen the previous ones with various past boyfriends who have come and gone, and I had actually enjoyed them, so I was happy to get to see the "Origins" one.  We bought our tickets and hopped onto the lit-up elevator to one of 2 basement levels where our specific theater was located.

Near the movie theater

The theater was extremely dark when we entered even though the movie hadn't started yet, making it difficult to find our assigned seats in the back.  We managed by using our cell phones as flashlights.  After about 30 minutes of commercials, a little announcement popped up.  It was completely in Korean so of course we had no idea what it was saying...all we knew was that everyone was kind of sitting up and examining their seats.

"Oh well, what can we do but wonder?" we said to each other.  At least if it was an evacuation, we'd know because everyone would be, well, evacuating!

Finally the movie started.  As soon as the first special effect hit the screen, our chairs suddenly began to vibrate!  It kind of happened like when you're playing video games and the controller vibrates with every hit, but it was vibrating our whole chair!  We decided the announcement had been about checking your chairs to see if they were switched to "ON."  Ours definitely were!  It tickled us the whole way through the film!

Now, one cool thing about Korea is that they don't dub their movies.  In Germany, we had to go to a specific theater to see movies in their original English, but here, they are all in their original languages...just subtitled in Korean.  X-Men, however, wasn't entirely in English.  In the US, I'm sure they subtitle those parts in English, but it Korea, they only have the Korean subtitles the whole way through.  Many of them probably don't even notice the language has changed, really.  Would you notice if the language switched from Thai to Mongolian?

Luckily for us, the two of us are quite clever and speak more than just English.

The first part not in English was actually in German.  I speak some German but Kim doesn't--so I started whispering the English translation in her ear for her.  Then the movie went back into English.

A few minutes later, the people in the movie were speaking French.  Kim is French Canadian and grew up speaking both French and English.  She started whispering the English translations into my ear.

I was proud of us for being such a formidable pair.

Then they started speaking in Russian and we were pretty much S.O.L.  But that wasn't enough to burst my happy little bubble.

Neither was what my supervisor told me on Friday afternoon, while I was in the middle of teaching my 7 boys.  "Mr. Cho wants you to know that he didn't want to hire you to begin with because you're an inexperienced teacher, so you should take your job seriously."

"What?"  I looked at her confused.  I didn't get it.  Why would she tell me this?  Um, hello--I'm already hired.  I'm under contract.  Was this half a threat?  I mean, it's not like they can just fire me for no reason.

She kind of rolled her eyes as she said, "Oh, you know, Mr. Cho...don't worry about it.  We can talk about it later."  By that point, my boys were throwing paper wads at each other across the classroom, which is what happens when my attention is diverted for more than 30 seconds.

Take my job seriously?  What, do I just come in and treat it like it's a joke?  I decided to not take what he had said seriously.  I mean, unless they can offer me some sort of constructive criticism, what am I supposed to do with information like that?

I'm just glad she told me on Friday and not Wednesday.  On Wednesday I was feeling a bit blue for no reason in particular.  Then I opened up an email from my mother.  She and my father are about to embark on a journey to visit my brother, his wife, and my baby niece, Sage, for her first birthday, which is this month right before my birthday.  She's crawling like crazy, and will be walking soon.  Then they will drive a bit further and visit my cousin Caroline and her new baby, who was born just after I arrived in Korea.  I burst into tears.

I'm missing my only niece's very first birthday.  That's real.  That's serious.

I mean, it's not like I didn't know I was going to be missing important milestones like that.  But, I don't get homesick!  Do I?

I remember when I was 11 years old and we moved from South Carolina to Maryland.  My whole world was torn away from me yet again.  One night I was bawling my eyes out in my lovely new bedroom, in more pain than I'd ever felt in my entire life.  All my friends were gone.  My school was gone.  My house was gone.  My neighborhood was gone.  I had nothing but stuff and a big house.  At 11 years old, I consciously knew I would have gladly given away everything I owned, including the stupid roof over my head, to get my life back.

Such a sense of abandonment at that early of an age created a person who knew wholeheartedly the impermanence of people, places, and things.  When we left Maryland 2 years later, I had already made several very good friends.  But that move was different--easier, somehow.

"Oh, I don't want you to go...I'll miss you so much!" wailed my best friend Stephanie.  She was very distraught.

I, however, didn't feel the same way as she did, even though she was my best friend and I loved her to death.  Numb, I shrugged and replied, "That's just what we do, though.  We move."  I was proud of myself for learning how to not hurt.  I was 13 years old.

I saw on Oprah one time Dr. Drew explaining a phenomenon in humans where "that which causes you great trauma in childhood causes attraction in adulthood."  It might explain why I can't seem to stay put for very long.  But the thing is...I really embrace that side of myself.  After all, it's allowed me to do incredible things!  I'm not scared to sign up for a whole year in a completely foreign country I've never been to, alone.  Because of that, I've experienced amazing things and made incredible life-long friends I wouldn't have otherwise met.

If I hadn't have moved so much as a child, I would have never been brave enough to go to school on the other side of the country.  I would have been too scared to live in Germany for a year.  I wouldn't be traveling the world, gaining wisdom with every step I take.

I would still be in Tennessee, getting paid $65 a day as a substitute teacher.  AND I'd have to pay rent AND have much bigger bills.  I'd rather be here, being told they'd have rather hired someone else.  Who cares when your paycheck looks like this:  2,195,690 and you're living rent-free in one of the most amazing cities you've ever set foot in?

I like wearing my home around my neck.  No one can take it away.

There's my little home, and the world with an airplane...the saguaro reminds me of my desert roots, and the little bird outside its cage reminds me of my favorite poem, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou